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I seldom know what day it is. Not only because I am getting older and it feels like time is speeding up but my thoughts are foggy due to the medication I am on for Bipolar Disorder 1. I don’t go places for days at a time so it is not easy for me to keep track. Many days I spend in bed and many times I don’t know if it’s day or night because I keep my bedroom dark. It seems cozier that way. I live alone except for my pets so I have nothing to gauge time with. I am working on getting off of some of my meds (Bipolar) because they make me too sleepy. It’s difficult to go through live in a fog. Not all mental illness medications work for everyone. I feel that with so many pharmaceuticals for doctors to choose from it’s hit or miss. I’ve basically been on the same meds for 14 years and I feel better than when I didn’t take meds but I need some fine tuning.

I take Sequel at bedtime. It’s a very strong mood stabilizer and knocks me out most nights. If I have anxiety too then I am usually up most of the night. Having Bipolar 1 is a nightmare. My mood swings daily are keeping me from living life outside the home. I’ve noticed that my concentration is clouded by all the other thoughts going through my head all the time. My doctor wants me to be tested for dementia. I’m in my fifties . My mom died of Alzheimer disease some years ago. Her’s was early onset and that scares me. Soon I am going to be a first time grandmother and that keeps me going in the right direction. New Years resolutions are something I am working on. I don’t make it too difficult so I’ll fail. I keep it simple and feel that I can attain my goals if I take it easy on myself. I am tough but mostly on myself.

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