Living alone with Bipolar is difficult for me at times. I can function pretty well on my own. Not having someone here to talk to or do things with is lonely. That’s not so bad for some but I need something to gauge my behavior at times. I think I am doing alright and then something happens that makes me feel bat shit crazy.
I’ve learned that just because someone say something about me doesn’t make it so. We (bipolar people) are very sensitive people. I recently made the mistake of contacting someone from (pof) plenty of fish dating site again. We texted a short time and I gave him my phone number to make the texting easier. It’s only been a couple of days and we started talking on the phone. I though everything was good we had a few laughs then he sent me text that was very offensive to me. I keep putting myself in places I have no business going to. I open myself up to all sorts of criticism. So the last text he sent me said “I seem a little crazy. I am not saying I don’t want to meet you either. I have been busy. I’m pretty sure I am probably not your type anyway. I am a little wild and carefree.” I was beguiled. How in the hell does he know my type, we never met. I don’t even know my type. This guy must be a brainiac. I swear these guy are ingenious with their stories.
That was a huge trigger calling me crazy. It taught me to keep private and to not trust. I have been working so hard to learn how to trust. I’m trusting the wrong people.
Listed are 10 things we don’t want you to know.
1.We’re scared of our symptoms too.
2 We’ve given up hope on our selves more times than you have.
3.We genuinely don’t need a reason to be upset (in any mood and it makes us trust you less when you yell at us that we do need a reason.
4. We feel like actors . A lot. And we don’t want to “remove our mask.”
5. Looking at other, successful people with Bipolar Disorder makes us feel like a disaster.
6. We’re absolutely normal.
7.We become specialists in our diagnoses, and we don’t appreciate being compared to you “crazy aunt” or your “moody neighbor.”
8. We could write a dissertation on suicide and the types of suicidal tendencies.
9.We go between really proud of who we are and feeling like a giant mistake.
10.We don’t know how to live our lives.