Bipolar disorder is a mood disorder characterized by impairing episodes of mania and depression. Twin studies have established that bipolar disorder is among the most heritable of medical disorders and efforts to identify specific susceptibility genes have intensified over the past two decades.

On the outside I would appear to be a lot tougher than I am. It’s sort of a protective cover. A precautionary measure reason being that I am easily affected by outside influences. Hurt or be hurt is how I used to think yet know better today. It is definatly not a good and healthy philosophy to live by. It became a way of life for me and I didn’t know how to change. Learning to trust the right people is the key to unlock any door I choose. Not everybody is going to like me and I am not going to everybody back.

Growing up with limited rescources I felt accademically and socially inept. I came from a loving family and have the best family I could wish for. Depression is apparent on both sides of my family. It’s hereditary as well as Bipolar disorder. I wish my parents were still alive so I can tell them that I know they did the best parenting with what they knew. Just as I do still even though my children are grown and well on their way to a happy and healthy life.

My family (my extended family) has lost 4 loved ones to suicide by self inflicted gunshot wounds. I have an uncle and 3 cousins gone too soon. That scares the hell out of me especially when I go through my depressive episodes. I do not own a hand gun any longer for that very reason. In my opinion, people with mental illnesses should not own a hand gun. Impulsivity is my reasoning. In one split second we find a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I cant’ live with having that choice. I would never want to hurt my family and friends in that way. I love them too much.

Fifteen years ago when I was diagnosed with Bipolar1 I thought my life was worthless and felt extremely flawed. But here I am flaws and all and trying to enjoy each God given day.