Unlike romantic love, unconditional love does not seek pleasure or gratification. Unconditional love is more a state of receptivity and allowing, which arises from our own basic goodness. It’s the total acceptance of someone — a powerful energy emanating from the heart.
I wish I could say that I always love unconditionally but I don’t. My love is conditional to the extent that I feel that I earn and deserve respect and love in return. Certain people I will always love unconditionally like my children and my family. Trust is a huge issue with me and having Bipolar disorder to contend with I have to trust someone and that’s family.
I have very few friends that I trust. I don’t hand out uncondional love on a platter to just anyone. It has to be earned over time. I have been hurt by friends before due to my illness. Not that it is my fault but I do take a certain amount of blame for the ending of a 25 year “best” friendship. I’m not going to talk bad about this person but she never really understood bipolar or even cared to understand. So I have trust issues although I shouldn’t compare. I just have a lot of unresolved hurt from that broken friendship.
Making friends and loving uncondionally with having bipolar disorder takes a leap of faith that I am not always ready to take.. I am learning to trust my feelings unlike before I always felt uneasy and allowed things to happen instead of making things happen. I went along for the ride and it was bumpy. Putting my own feeling first allows me to feel somewhat in charge of my life for the first time. And it feels good.
My feelings don’t always match my actions. The ousides don’t match the insides. I try to leave the past in the past and forgive but not forget. We are asked to forgive those who injured us. Unless we have first judged and condemned them for what they did, there would be no reason for us to forgive them. Rather we would have to forgive ourselves for judging.
I love my family and that will never change not matter what. I have a very small circle of family and friends that I know will always be here for me and those are the ones I love unconditionally.
If you love someone unconditionally and truly bond with them, then you don’t ever try to influence, limit, persuade, or set boundaries with them…right?
Love is very important. When you find someone through dating and relating who loves you for “who you are”, it is an amazing experience. Similarly, it is rewarding to love someone else “as they are.” I believe that such a bond is priceless and should be nurtured with great affection. Love is part of our emotions.
Relationships, however, are an entirely different thing. Relationships are working partnerships. They involve thoughts, reasons, and decisions. They require two (or more) individuals in communication, commitment, and cooperative exchange.
As a result, love (feelings) and relationships (decisions) can have separate rules and expectations. Love, because it is a feeling, can be unconditional. Sometimes, no matter what a partner does, feelings toward them do not change. Relationships, however, are working partnerships. As such, they require conditions, boundaries, limits, and directions to run smoothly.Therefore, a distinction must be made between “unconditional love”…and “unconditional relationships”.